It is safe to say that I know nothing about art, but it is also safe to say that I have strong opinions and that I know what I like and dislike. I believe that these personality traits make me overqualified for judging Artprize. So here it goes. I broke down the top 10, and here is who deserves to win:
(starting at the bottom)
10th Place- Rain
Ok, so maybe I just don't get it, and I am sure it took a lot of hard work and it means a lot to the artist, which is great, but to my untrained eye (which, once again, qualifies me as a judge) it just looks like a bunch of spinning paper hanging from the ceiling. Rad.
9th- "President Ford Visits Artprize."
Alright, so this one is really well done. It looks just like the guy. It is honestly art, but at the same time, it is honestly a huge gimmick. Seriously, the only people in the world who care about President Ford are people from Grand Rapids, and the artist was from freakin' Montana. I mean, maybe the artist is a huge fan, but to me it just seems like a way to pull at the heart strings of the Grand Rapids people and score some extra votes. Props on being good at what you do, but next year, create something that has meaning to you.
8th- Mantis Dreaming
Yeah, I don't really know. This one just doesn't do much for me. It is pretty cool that it is made from recycled trains or whatever, but yeah, It just doesn't stand out in my mind. That doesn't mean its not cool, there is just some heavy competition in these parts.
7th- Rusty
Probably the main reason that this one falls so far down on the list for me is that I am just really annoyed at how much everyone else seems to love it. Yeah, it is really cool, but it isn't THAT cool. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if someone decided to trade their newborn baby in for a replica of this thing. People love it a little too much for comfort. Oh, and I was going to stop there, but no, I am going to keep going. The artist's statement leaves me super confused. Great. It is a self-portrait, what does that even mean? I doubt you look anything like this dog. AND back to annoying people, stop pointing out what it is made out of in awe, "Oh look, license plates!" GREAT! That is what art is, it is stuff that is made out of other stuff. Shut up about the dog already!
6th- Grizzlies on The Ford
At first this one ranked pretty high in the annoying gimmicky category for me, but then I realized they are chainsaw wood sculptures or whatever, and the guy was from the area. That is pretty cool. I bet it takes a lot of talent to do something like that, and it is pretty impressive that the artist was able to include so much detail. Nice work Yo, tough competition though.
5th-Crucifixion
At first my gimmick meter was going off pretty hard with this one, but then I read the description about it being actually made for a church and the artist just not having time to do something just for artprize, and that put me a little more at ease. After 2 years straight of this artist putting in immaculate glass collages, or whatever they are called, it is no secret that she is super talented. Like, look, at that thing, it is pretty rad. Unfortunately, however, I can't put my gimmick vibes completely away, and this gets stuck at 5th.
4th-Metaforest
There is a couple reasons I really like this bad boy. It is cool that it is a permanent installation, and it will be making our city look better for years to come. It was also pretty sweet that the artist enlisted the help of the students at the West Michigan Center for Arts and Technology. I guess the piece has something to do with empowering the youth through the arts too, and I really feel that the artist means it. When I went to see this piece, I watched him interacting with some rambunctious youth, and he was nothing but encouraging and inspiring to them. I think he really made those kid's days, and I am a sucker for that kind of crap.
3rd- Under Construction
I don't know why I love this so much, but I just can't help it. Every time I go near the BOB I can't stop staring at this human statue. It makes it even better that this dude is a local AND he is good at what he does. I think it is about time that we got some performance art in the top 10. What this guy is doing cannot be easy. He has been out there all day every day, making peoples day (yep, i said that). I have a feeling he would still be up there doing this every day with the same energy that he has now even if he wasn't in the top 10. Give this dude some money.
2nd- Ocean Exodus.
This is another guy who has submitted some pretty impressive crap two years in a row. This man can carve wood! This piece is smaller than last years, which will probably hurt him in the long run (which is stupid, but it is artprize), but it has some super amazing detail. This is real art. I could not ever do this crap. I like having this guy around too. This year and last year I just hovered around his work for a little bit listening to him talk. He is cool, give him some money too!
1st- The Tempest II
This thing blows my mind. It was one of the pieces that first caught my mind, even before the top 10. The picture does not do it justice but it basically all this hand cut paper that is arranged in such a way that it creates this weird multi-dimensional dream scape. It is the best. It deserves to win.
And that concludes my artprize write up. You are very welcome. And if you disagree with me, don't worry about it, I am not going to vote, because voting on art is stupid, so, when it all comes down to it, my opinion does not matter.
P.S. That dude with the magnifying class burning the wood at the BOB really deserves to win. I take back everything I said up to this point. Go watch him, it is crazy.
